Bros Before Hos Rules E-mail
Written by The Elder   



Bros Before Hoes Explained

Bros before hoes. I cannot stress this enough to all you guys out there who might get a girl and disappear. Girls are a dime and dozen and if they are not you can only take one with you for the big plunge. There is not restriction on the number of guy friends you can have. Stick with a winner and never break the bros before hoes code and if you get married keep your wife close but your bros closer!

Bros Before Hos Rules are probably the most sacred aspect of the Guy Code religion. Many times Women end up coming between a guy and his friends for the most insignificant reason.When a guy gets a new girlfriend he tends to disappear from his friends. This is normal because it is s new source of ass and he wants to play with it. However, when he is asked to hang out and the guy says he needs to check with his girlfriend first, there is a problem.

The first thing guys do when they become of conscious age is to hang out with other guys and basically commit shenanigans for pure entertainment. This would later be called male bonding by great Guycodian scholars such as Sigmund Freud, Emile Durkheim and Abraham Maslow. Male bonding has led men to conquer the world with their own innovation of enforcing their will upon weaker peoples. Guys Love that. To dominate and to win (especially in the sack and women don't complain about that because they like it) Male bonding can be summed up by the famous words of Conan the Barbarian, "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women".

Bros before hoes basically means that you will not abandon, blow off, ignore or choose a random skank over your guy friends. If you are dating a serious girl who meets approval of your guy friends then bros before hoes does not apply to here unless you are completely whipped and have lost your metaphorical balls as a man. There is a time and place for marriage and sacrifice but until that day comes, you must honor bros before hos. It's quite obvious that men do far more interesting activities than girls do and blowing off your guy friends over a chick for sensitive reason is no excuse.

 bros before hoes

 Bros Before Hoes Rules

As you may or may not realize, the public school system in America is attempting to socialize boys into egalitarian Barbi doll playing flute blowers. In other words, they are being taught to lose their competitive drive and instinctual yearn to win. Basically, they are teaching young boys to be push overs and take orders from women, which later down the road would be their girlfriend, fiancee or wife. This is why the Bros Before Hos concept emerged some time in 1991. Guys who would rather hang out with their girlfriends and window shop at the mall instead of going to a sporting event with his friends have just violated this sacred rule. Remember, friendships with bros last longer than a relationship with a woman.

1. Don't Break Plans with the Bros

The reason the Bros Before Hoes concept came to being was to castigate guys who would blow off their friends over a random chick. You never ever leave your flight wing. If something is planned you must see it through. That what tomorrow is for, to fulfill a rain check with a girl. In the mean time, you hang out with your guy friends and commitment and enjoy random shenanigans. Thanks to feminism and balls drop off syndrome there are very few Victorian gentleman left. That's why there is Guy Code.

If your girlfriend constantly is making plans for you to do things with her you must wise up immediately. She is trying to weed you off from your guy friends. A woman who constantly is planning is constantly scheming and not to be trusted. If she has Christmas planned in July you must run to your bros with arms open. There is no excuse for a monopoly and thats why the Federal government prohibits it. The same must go with a woman who tries to keep you from your friends.

2. Do Not Switch Gyms

Regardless if you are seriously courting a woman you would in fact marry, you never switch gyms. The gym is the refuge that all married men can reenter at that leisure and communicate about any topic acres the board without worry of being ridiculed by woman. Under no circumstance are you to cancel your gym membership and join your girlfriends gym.


3. Sexual Courtesy

Do not sleep with your bro's girlfriend, fiancee, wife or mother (sister is a gray area). If whomever your friend is dating no matter how hard she comes on to you, you must not sleep with her. You are not allowed to rationalize the fact that your friend is dating a no good dish rag whore and he shouldn't be with her anyway scenario, do not sleep with her. A friendship with a bro is worth more than a random fling with some nasty cheating Filthy Slutty Mcslutterson. If anything please see the 5Bro Count Rule.

4. Defend Your Bros

Obviously if one of your bros get in a fight you jump in no matter who was wrong or right. However, defending your bro mainly stems from female criticism. Girls always criticize because they are envious and lack their own self esteem. So when a girl makes a comment at one of your friends you must jealousy defend him without care or ponderous to the consequences.

5. The Balancing Act

If you are fearing that you maybe getting pussy whipped then that means you are pussy whipped. If you think you are showing up or hanging out with the guys on sports nights and not for the random drinking beer in the garage session you are treading down a path of violating this sacred oath. You can not show up to some events in a non consecutive pattern. Your bros will figure out that you are putting a woman before male bonding and the savage nature of comradery under fire. You tell you girlfriend, fiancee or wife that you are hanging out with the guys and it is something you just have to do in order to be a man and leave it at that.

6. Be A Bro Sponsor

You have a duty as a guy to be there for you bro in hard times. Things like a break up, cheating, losing one's job, a dog dying, Dale Jr. getting run off the track or Chuck Liddell getting knocked out again, require immediate counseling. I do not care how tired you are, if you bro calls you in the middle of the night, you must console him. You must protect his honor and feelings and not let anyone know of his weakness.

7. Guys Night Out

Do not ever bring a female to guys night out. That is like bringing sand to the beach not to mention a spy that will cause all your friends not to act the way they normally do because a chick is cramping their style. If you are p whipped then take your lumps and insults but bringing your girlfriend to hang out with the guys to show them you are hanging out, it simply doesn't count.

8. Five Bro Vote Count

If 5 of your bros do not like the girl you are dating it means she really does suck and is a terrible person but your feelings will not let you see it. No to mention that you would be miserable for the rest of your life if you married her. If your girlfriend does not pass the 5 majority vote, she is not the girl for you.

9. The Exception Clause

If you are married with kids than the Bros Before Hoes oath is null and void. If this is the woman you are going to spend the rest of your life with, procreate with and pay a mortgage with, then surely she should always be number 1. More over, you have the responsibility as a father to run that household and take care of everything. You duty is to your children first, your wife second and your bros third. Sorry guys, but this is what being a man is all about. Being a father and making sure a woman does not screw up the traditional family with delusions of Feminist grandeur.
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