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| | | Stephanie Kirkland Makes A Jailbait Touchdown Aiken, South Carolina Stephanie G. Kirkland a 20 year old Graniteville, South Carolina woman has been arrested and charged with three counts of 2nd-degree criminal sexual conduct and four counts of of lewd act upon a minor after police say she repeatedly molested a 13-year-old girl. This means Kirkland is being accused of furry muff munching on a field of barren grass. You see, when a female is molested there is no natural penetration so they have to church it up by saying all that technical jargon.
According to the Aiken County Sheriff's Department, Kirkland assaulted the 13-year-old girl at three separate locations between May and December, 2007. The incidents reportedly occurred at two houses in and a cheer leading training center in Aiken which is no longer in business, according to Aiken County Sheriff's Office spokesperson, Lt. Michael Frank. We suspect it closed to the failing economy and the act that cheer leading is not a real sport so it could not get any sponsors. However, there was an attempt to put the cheer leading camp behind glass where men could drop money and receive a cheer performance but the cheer leading coach said that was out of the question. Makes perfect sense to us though.
Frank also said that he did not know where the victim was from, whether the two met at the center or whether there might be additional victims. Since lesbians are promiscuous, it is suspected that there is much more muff gardens that Kirkland was plowing. However, Ashley Pitts, Kirkland's neighbor and friend (who is also on myspace) disputed the allegations, telling reporters that the allegations are something Kirkland had complained about a year ago. Complained about what? Not having enough muff around and turning 18 sucks?
Kirkland said that there is a girl that is accusing her of things she didn't do," said Pitts. "If a girl doesn't like another girl, then they can do outrageous things to hurt the other person. Normally they just bang your boyfriend to get even with you not claim you liked her lady finger. "You can't automatically assume that what you hear is always true because Women always lie". I completely agree with this statement but the question is, who is lying? She's a great girl, she's happy in her relationship. There's no way she would do that," she added after taking a line of an unknown substance and giggling like a tit mouse.
Kirkland turned herself in on Tuesday and was booked into the Aiken County Detention Center. She was later released after posting a $21,000 bond. I have to admit Kirkland looks very young, at first she could be the victim. However, who the hell knows what these young girls are up to these days. They are most likely taking the pot. I just feel bad for her supposed boyfriend. We all know who these face facebook relationships start to throw people off. | | | | | | Accused of Molesting 13 Year Old Girl
Stephanie is a tiny little thing - 4/11 and just about 100 pounds. It's a case that's turning stereotypes about child predators on it's head and has Kirkland's neighbors and friends in disbelief. How could a girl so young look and good looking be accused of molesting a 13 year old girl? Well, the scoop on the poop is that Kirkland was accused of doing this at Cheer Camp. None-the-less, the charges are serious and Kirkland now faces the possibility of serious time in jail if convicted of the charges. | | | | | | | She Likes Pussy CatsIT was reported that Kirkland had never seen a blue duck so she drew one for the unnamed little girl while in cheer leading camp. The seems to have been a rivalry among the young accuser and Kirkland and when Kirkland made the remark,"you will never make varsity and most likely end up dancing on a pole" that this is what set off the 13 year old accuser. This is however dailyshow speculation. | | |
| | | Vanity will Be Kirkland's UndoingI have to admit again and again, that this girl featured above look ever so innocent and young is not a molester. However, girls always have the upper hand at making accusations and the cops automatically arrest. I guess this is proof now that women can make the same accusations and be arrested regardless of their own vulnerable gender. However, in the famous and memorable words of Dr. Kynes, "Against all better judgment, I like this Duke" referring to the fact that I don't buy it but what a story to clown the fuck out of. | | | | | | | Proof of HeterosexualityLook, I know this looks like a happy relationship but something is rotten in the state of Denmark about it. This guy looks like a crayon. I think he is either super serial about tip toeing through the tulips or he is in Super Guy Best Friend Mode. Other than that, he has no real chance with a chick as hot as this brod. Run Forest, she is using you just like Jenny did! | | |
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