I checked my email this morning and saw a video referred to me about American Special forces. I of course opened it up to peep it out. to my surprise it was a comedy. It was a comedy in regards that it placed TEAM AMERICA'S theme song in it and I laughed my ass off. If you like seeing America walking all over dirty scum killers, then peep this video. 

Ever heard the expression “big hat, no cattle”? If you have then it was not a compliment. Guys are always guilty of exaggerating their accomplishments especially when boasting about Sex. When girls are getting out of long relationships they always fall prey to a guy who claims he's a sure thing in bed. However, if exaggerating can get you naked hokey pokey time and afterward the girl says that you were a complete sexual let down, just ask yourself two questions. One, did you have an orgasm and two, did she really not enjoy herself? The answer to the first question will always be "yes I did" and the answer to the second question is, "who cares". You still got laid and that's all that matters, its guy code!

My god the news is shocking everyday I am forced to watch it. It's bad enough the DOW Jones is riding a pogo stick but to have people completely clueless about what is really going on with their own lives is even more frustrating. I think the government made a mistake by trying to socialize every aspect of human behavior in all of it's citizens lives and this is what has led us into societal stupidity. I guess common sense isn't as common as it once was.

The movie Wedding Crashers brought to public light the Clinger Condition some Women in America have. These conditions have been described as an anxiety disorder by some doctors but modern day sociologists would disagree. The absence of a strong male figure early in a woman’s life has said to be responsible the Clinger Condition. Clinger Condition are failure to launch warning signs of women for men to be aware of when out cruising the town for chicks. There are 5 record levels of clinging with each being explained for your sanity and more importantly your safety.

Cock Blocking is an all American sport when trying to use every advantage to lay a chick before another guy gets the opportunity. More over cock blocking is also been labeled a controversial move in the hook up world but has its strengths and weaknesses.

Have you ever been friend requested by a girl you are barely acquaintances with? I'm sure you have so what do we do when a chick friend requests us? We look at their pictures and then send them a message back. I thought that was the whole point on these community websites. Well it is until her boyfriend takes the liberty of contacting you about having a dialogue with his girlfriend. Dude, when a hot chick friend requests you you speak to her, its guy code!

I have a chance to spend 13,000.00 on an engagement ring for my fiancee or a Barrett 50 caliber sniper rifle for myself. If you are a man and don't know what a Barrett is, then rent the movie Navy Seals and slap your balls to make sure you still have feeling down there. I really am in a quandary of what I should do. I keep weighing the pluses and minus of each but still find myself twinkling my toes in cold water about making a decision. What would you do if you weighed your options? Buy an engagement ring or a bad ass sniper rifle?

Recently one of my friends suffered a personal loss and I wanted to share it with everyone. The loss was his loyal dog Michelob. I only met Michelob once but he made himself quite at home when he claimed his nap time was going to be on my feet for the duration of my visit. During this visit I noticed there was a painting of Michelob on the wall of my friends home. This painting signified how special this dog was, is and will always be to him. Moreover, a dog is truly man's best friend and it will be a trend that will never cease to end. Some where out there is potential for every dog to be a Michelob and for every man out there to have one. In good times and bad times, dogs are always happy, loyal and protective of their family and the following eulogy for Michelob demonstrates that man can be equally the same for his dog.

  Well, I was not expecting former light heavy weight champion Forrest Griffin, to get knocked out in perhaps one of the worst main events in MMA history. Anderson the "Spider" Silva literally knocked Griffin out while asking for a glass of water. Yes it was that gay. If you didn't see the fight, try to imagine taking a lighting dump in a gas station bathroom and flushing the commode before the turd ever hit the water. That's how fast this knock out was and it wasn't even glorious. Anderson "Spider" Silva said next time he would fight in a wheel chair just to make it fair while doing calculus with a abacus.

There is always a wild and crazy relative in the family who tasks deeds of masculinity for both good and evil. This story is but one of many from a man who practiced Guy Code from birth. It was rumored that when he was born the doctor was afraid to spank him and got his own mother to do it. It was a very smart decision. Behold a brief story of shenanigans galore to a poor soul who thought he could pass uncle Mike in a turning lane somewhere in New York City. The legend continues to grow.

Want to get huge but don't want to put in a lot of dedication in the gym? Well, the thing I hear to use is steroids. They will get you big and the only price you have to pay to get there is your heterosexuality! That's right, guys who use steroids end up being gay! They get so use to staring at themselves in the gym that when they go to strip clubs they stare at themselves in the mirrors! Well, most do and the ones who don't are thought of to be gay anyway! See if using steroids will pay off for you.

Every been to Thailand? Well some Marine buddies of mine have and boy do they have some stories. The one in particular that struck my fancy was the game called "smiles". If you were every in the military and went to Bangkok, then you already know what I'm talking about. If you haven't then read on and you will wish they do this in the champagne room in US strip clubs.

A .45 caliber round makes a pretty big hole, I can just imagine how the conversation went like, "Hey check out my new M&P Smith & Wesson 45 auto! It came with night sights and has a really great trigger pull", nice squeeze Bang!!!!....Oh Shit....I shot my foot!" The moral is, there is a difference being a guy whole like guns and then a guy withwho likes guns who also has common sense. This is what his foot looks like.

 This fat Iraqi kid is displaying American qualities of being a gangsta. He dance in the street, throws random hand signs and beats some smaller kids ass for candy. The Iraq culture has been forever changed thanks to American troops who are real men. Thanks to Guy Code.

This is a great picture that must be looked at by all guys concerning Jessica Simpson's revealing bathing suit. Cheeseburger in paradise. Enjoy. 

This needs no introduction but I digress. For all of you Candy Ass males out there with men parts, these are the real meaning to male responses. For all you ladies out there, you need not read, we mean what we say and do what we say. Stop making it complicated.

When I was growing up the people to make fun of were the nerds. Several movies were made about this social phenomena with the most famous being "Revenge of the Nerds". Now a new trend is setting is to the point the nerds are being more accepted. This new trend of men are called Beta Males. Beta Males are the limp wristed men who have been feminized into having their successfully dropping off. So I thought to myself, who would win as it mattered to sexual conquests, Nerds or Beta Males?

Does being a real man mean paying not only your way through life but for the way of a collective of dead beats? Well, I would argue that a real man would take care of  him and his ( yep those words ) and if he wanted to help someone else it would be his prerogative (Thanks Bobby Brown, hit her again and put some stank on it!) I find it humorous that the Government makes us be charitable to those who can not help themselves. Not only is that Un-American it goes against being a real man and defiantly against Guy Code.

2012 is the end of the world so what is the most important thing you would want to do before it all ends? If you said playing chess with Carl Weathers, you need to go ahead and end your life now. When the herd starts to stampede like the Black Friday Walmart incident, you better be stampeding for pussy. The last great rush left in the world will be having random unprotected Sex with as many chicks as possible. If you have reservations about crushing pussy then it means you are gay and think god the world is ending.

It is an honor first of all to submit this piece to a website that is not only entertaining but a guiding light to men everywhere. I wanted to bring to light the benefits of banging a fat chick. Most right off tops would think I was crazy but rest assured I am quite sane. I will give maximum details on checking off your list of things to bang by encouraging a romp with a fat chick. The treasured knowledge below contains reasons why it would be beneficial to jump to bones of old Moby Dick herself. In short, 10 ways or things to do with a fat chick. Good luck.

  Sex education is really a joke. The best thing you can do is to just lock up your daughters until they are 30 years old. If you have sons there should be nothing to worry about. After all if you have just sons you only have to worry about one penis. Sadly if you have nothing but daughters you have to worry about all the penises trying to get in. Since you can not lock you daughters up (damn regulations) just show them these4 picture diagrams and it should explain everything to them. 

Now guys and even girls can tag your personality on Myspace or Facebook. There is a collection of personality types that your friends can tag your name under. Some are funny, some are mean and some are just true. Upload the picture to your Myspace or Facebook account and start tagging your friends! Now you will be able to see what they really think of you.

   If you have ever been to a gym to work out you my have noticed a guy who was staring at himself in the mirror like he was looking at free porn on the internet. At first glance what you have witnessed is called the Gym Doucher. This guy only goes to strip clubs so that he can stare at himself in the mirror as opposed to the pole dancing strippers. If you have had a questionable experience with masculinity concerning another guy in the gym you may want to reference this article to learn the behavioral characteristics of a Gym Doucher.

Fellas, we all know there are good Women out there. Some of us have been lucky to find them, others have not. But all of us know the horror stories from our pasts - the crazy ones, the cheaters, the gold-diggers, and so on. So presented here, for your perusal...the first attempt at categorizing these nightmarish creatures...

  THOUSAND OAKS, Calif. With a public apology, Tiger Woods disclosed his "wife's unrealistic expectations" and acknowledged that she had "not been realistic to a man of his status and power". Upon the public disclosure of Tiger's affairs with many harlots, he has been awarded Guy Code 2009 Man of the Year for having the most outrageous affair brought to public scrutiny. Not to mention for not only having Sex with his most gorgeous wife but also carrying on multiple affairs at the same time. Not an easy task being the most popular sports figure in the world to remain secret for so long. It’s no wonder he is Guy Code’s 2009 Man of the Year.

These are the top10 reasons why men prefer Guns over Women. Come on, I know you're curious to find out. 

The US Airforce and its role in supporting Guy Code from the skies all over the world.

The US Coast Guard, Guy Code, and girls of Spring Break.

The Us Navy and their use of Guy Code as it matters to the world and the War on Terrorism.

There is a collection of consecutive warning signs that emerge when you or most likely, a friend of yours is being taken from the herd and being branded by his girlfriend, otherwise known as being WHIPPED.

Have you ever sent a nude pic of yourself to the girl you are crushing or received one from a girl via text message? If you have then you have just practiced "sexting". Sexting is when you send nude images via text message to a chick. Sounds fun and we all have done it at one time or another. Well a problem has presented itself when some uptight squares realized that if underage teens practice sexting they are committing child pornography (which is a felony unless your Michael Jackson). So law makers have decided to arrest all teenagers who practice sexting and label them as a Sex offenders.

  A best friend is defined as someone whom you can count on every time you feel down and out, someone who accepts you despite your imperfections and will stand beside you through thick and thin. I haven’t met a dog owner yet who didn’t place their dog at the top of their list when they were asked to name their best friends. Because dogs are highly sociable animals, they are extremely loyal to their owners. The unconditional Love and companionship they provide to owners and their families have earned them the title "Man's Best Friend" for over a century now. This loyalty and friendship has resulted in dog owners treating them as family members. Hence why some men prefer dogs over Women and yet women call men dogs (jealous).