Jerking Off To Sober Up

 When you are stumbling about and drunk enough to realize you are fucked up what do you normally do to sober up? Well for most people they will eat waffle house or some other less than EPA safe prepared food to soak up that alcohol. However this is not the answer. Guys when you can not lay down in your bed because its spinning you need to sober up. You can do this one of two ways but the latter will be the best choice. Obviously you can have Sex but what fully trashed drunken guy always has that option? The only thing every man can do to sober up is to jerk off.

When you want a little peace of mind so you can actually sleep without being aboard a boat in 30 foot waves you have to jerk the gerkin. Why? Well when you start jerking off it tricks your mind. Male human beings have an emergency flight or fight response in their genetic code. When we get an erection our body thinks we must mate in order to pass on our seed regardless of health or state of mind. This genetic programming can be used to straighten you out so you can actually get a decent start at sleep and not go puke your brains out.

So how does jerking off do anything? Well when you start the process your body gets hot. This heat produced from your body releases endorphins into your blood stream that help counter balance the alcohol. More over, you start to sweat a lot more as well causing the alcohol another avenue of escape from your body. As your hand motion is going up and down you are initiating a small amount off cardio to get your body to flush out the over abundance of toxins. In addition to, since your body is now activated and heart rate is up your liver starts to clean the alcohol from your body faster and you begin feeling the urge to piss thus removing the unwanted toxins out faster.

The trick is not to finish jerking off until you can maintain your own balance or equilibrium. Always keep a dirty mag in your bathroom to aid in the interest of wacking off. You must not lose focus and release your load though. You must hold out long enough so you are no longer dizzy and can lay down in your bed without it spinning. More specifically, you will have to jerk it for at least 20 minutes. Don't worry, when you are drunk time flies fast as shit. So when I say 20 minutes I really mean 30 minutes.

Does jerking off to sober up sounds stupid? Probably. Does jerking off to sober up work? Absolutely. The science is there you just have to be cognizant enough to practice it during a drunken state. So just to recap, if you are feeling dizzy and are too man enough to vomit try jerking off. With the body going into procreation fight or flight mode it allows you to pass on your seed even during your heavily inebriated state to sober up. In conclusion, not only does jerking off sober you up when you are drunk, its also fun because you don't have a girl to worry about after you pop your top. Hope this helps.