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| | | | Cavemen Invented the Blow Job
Neanderthal was first caveman thought to have experienced the blow job if you listen to French scholars. However, evidence would lead to the blow job as a recreational source of male pleasure and not a mating one. Neanderthal was only capable of enjoying vaginal intercourse as opposed to variations of penis pleasures. Modern man brought the innovations to the sexual experience that all men enjoy today. This matter of innovation is an obvious attribute of western civilization (modern man European descendants) by taking the ideas of inept cultures and making them better and then exploiting them. The exploiting part is the use of the cave woman, both Neanderthal cave woman and modern cave Women (pussy is pussy). The following are the four stages put forth by our scholars to explain the origins of the bow job and how it came to be. |
| Horny Caveman
The first stage in the evolution of the blow job was OBVIOUSLY the horny caveman. The design of Neanderthal was to be fruitful and procreate. More specifically, Neanderthal was built only to survive and to pass on his seed resulting in him being a horny beast in his own creation. Neanderthal was the top dog for a time but it was not he who experienced the blow job. So Neanderthal was constantly banging cave women with relative ease until the mysterious emergence of modern day man (homosapien) came along. The problem became more serious when modern man came onto the scene and began to compete for women on both fronts. Neanderthal was constantly fighting to pass on his seed while modern man was just trying to get some cave pussy from Neanderthal's stock of cave women which resulted in horny cavemen due to the short supply of available cave women. | | | AggressionThe second stage of the evolution of the blow job was the aggression stage. When resources are scarce especially if its pussy, aggression is the natural tool man uses to accomplish his goals of conquering. When a woman wandered onto the scene, the mere sight of her triggered hormones in both modern man and Neanderthal. The problem resulted when these hormones caused both Neanderthal and modern man to compete amongst each other for cave pussy. That is when aggression to claim the female erupted and battle to the death ensued for the sexual exploit of the female. However, modern man began to capitalize on Neanderthal by the use of his superior brain especially when it involved crushing pussy. More over, it was aggression toward violence sparked by natural hormones to take females from the grasp of other humanoids that lead to the blow job. | | | | Spoils of War
The third stage of the evolution of the blow job was the spoils of war. The spoils of war was basically the left over pussy after a battle between another man and taking his bitch for yourself. It was often said that Neanderthal became extinct because they could not out compete homosapien for resources. This is not true, homosapien committed the ultimate savage cock blockery by killing off Neanderthal to ensure the supply of pussy for modern man. It wasn't because modern man built their shelters on top of hills and mountains and Neanderthal camped out at the bottom like a bunch of dummies. No, it was much more sinister. Modern man wanted the pussy all for himself and began to ritualistically duel Neanderthal for his females. So after the battle was over modern man would claim the female and this is the was the spoils of war that led to the evolution of the blow job. | | | Hormonal Confusion
During the flurry of victory, modern day man became confused after being exhausted from his duel with Neanderthal. This led to the eruption of hormonal endorphins and adrenaline released during battle where modern man often became confused when he began to take the spoils of war (woman) for himself. When modern man forced himself on the cave woman during his confused state of mind, he would begin to hump aimlessly at any orifice (hole) available to him. This often occurred when man was struggling with woman when she was on her knees and his penis naturally would land strokes in and out of her mouth as she was struggling to breathe. This was the initial act of the blow job but what completed the act was the gag reflex which naturally caused women to keep their mouths open to cough for air. This cough led to repeated coughs leaving her mouth open for successful strikes with modern man’s penis. Eventually it was like breaking a wild horse and man would break woman to the point it was easier for her to just suck his cock than to struggle for air. After the extinction of Neanderthal man would ritualistically practice the blow job before he had Sex because it became a part of his culture. The blow job would later survive the test of time in what modern day terminology would be called foreplay. | | | | |
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