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Written by The Elder   

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Erin Esurance Biography

Erin Esurance has been the topic of conversation by many men since her appearance as the Esurance spokes woman. In her first three years, Erin was used in over 30 commercials revealing her insurance assets. With her pink hair to her rolling curves, she has made quite an impression on all those guys with an unique imagination and who are live action role players. Since we have been getting emails about Erin, we decided to do a little research on her background in hopes that we would find a skeleton or two in her closet. I am happy to say she didn't disappoint and the story of Erin Esurance will be revealed.

Erin was born in Buffalo Wyoming in 1972. She was raised by her single mother in Bald Mountain Trailer Court where they lived in a single wide trailer. The tires were never really on the trailer because her mother bought it second hand for 1200.00 from their slum lord Kyle Geradi. Her mother Jane worked three jobs as a comfort woman, school lunch lady and part time drive through cashier at the local Dairy Queen. Erin grew up as a tom boy playing with the trailer park boys and was fond of sticking fire crackers up bull frogs asses. She also still holds the distance record for the Johnson county spitting contest.

Erin didn't have much of a relationship with her father Allen Derelict, who abandoned Erin and her mother before she was even born. Allen left Erin and her mother so he could shovel shit in Louisiana to avoid the Viet Nam draft in 1972. Throughout the years Allen would send Erin napkins with crayon written messages to see how she was doing. During Erin's high school summers her father would drop in on her from time to time when she was dancing at the Gentleman's club in Rozet Wyoming. It is a straight shot down highway 90 and only 40 minutes if you go 85 mph from Buffalo. This detail was provided to us by her father Allen who now has two replacement children of his own and resides in Holly Springs North Carolina twice since divorced.

Growing up in the middle of East Jesus Nowhere, Erin soon realized that living in Wyoming was not for her. She had big dreams and graduated from Buffalo High School in South Burrit Wyoming in 1990. She then did several photo shoots with a less than savory photographer named Tits McGee to make some quick cash for college. Some of her photos involved nudity and heavy petting near highway truck stops. Out of respect for Erin we did not publish the raw images but do look at them everyday for our own enjoyment. She then enrolled in Western Wyoming Community College in Rocky Springs in 1991. She later transferred to UCLA on a hot as fuck scholarship where she majored in broadcasting. She graduated with a 3.8 GPA in 1995 and headed to Los Angeles to become a movie star.

Erin's first real break into fame was an appearance in the movie Water World starring Kevin Costner. She was an extra who ran around screaming during the assault scene where Dennis Hopper's (The Deacon) Smokers (pirates) attacked the atoll. She briefly dated Jack Black who was also in the movie who played the air plane pilot and that is where they first met. This was before Black was popular or even thought of as being funny. In addition to, Erin was Jack Black's first real piece of hot ass because like I previously mentioned, he was not popular at all during this time and many thought he might have even been gay. However, Jack Black proved us all wrong in his break through performance as the Canadian who shit his pants screaming in the film The Jackal starring Bruce Willis.

While B listing around Los Angeles, California Erin met Gary C. Tolman who is the CEO of the Esurance insurance company. Erin had just come back from a Halloween party where she dressed up as Pauly Shore's parole officer emphasizing her glistening pink hair (which she is now famous for) and caught Tolman's eye. Tolman was immediately intrigued and asked Erin what she did for a living. Erin replied that she was a struggling actress who waited tables at Yang Chow off of East Ceaser E Chavez Avenue. Tolman not being a fan of Asian cuisine quickly changed the subject and told her she fit the description of what they were looking for in a female spokes woman for a small emerging insurance company. Erin was immediately flattered and nearly Struck Mud in her thong panties as she expressed her interest.

Tolman offered Erin a private audition with no strings attached (to his dismay) and she took him up on it (the offer not him). It was Erin's pink hair, green eyes, firm Breasticles and legs that went on for days that sealed the deal and made the pigeon squeal. She had just landed the job of her life. Since then Erin has hands down has made the company what it is today by her charming persona. She has put her past behind her by not showing her behind to anyone anymore. When Erin's nude college scandal pictures hit the news we asked Tolman if this  would harm her career as the Esurance spokes woman? Tolman replied, "There has been an arrangement that Erin and I will work out and that these tabloid toilet images will have no bearing on her future with Esurance".

Since Erin is a symbol of Sex appeal there is no doubt these images will have any negative effect on her position with Esurance. If anything these images promoted Mr. Ed's left nut out of Esurance and it was the best exposure that could ever happen to the company. Erin may not be able to hide from her less than humble beginnings but she used the only thing a woman like that could offer. Her sexy ass body and perhaps even using her carnal knowledge to advance her career as most Women tend to do. How do you really think a woman like Erin got a 3.8 in college? It wasn't because she was good at betting on horse races. We hope to see more of Erin and we are glad we got to see the human side of her naked rear end.

Erin Esurance

Erin Esurance College Picture Scandal


Erin isn't the first women to do stupid things when she was young. Lot's of times these girls are so desperate for stardom they would do just about anything to get a head like Susan Sarandon giving head. Let's faced it, most of them do! I'm not knocking it but don't get pissed off when your past catches up with you like a bad case of gerpis. Hey, it worked for Paris Hilton why not Erin Esurance? For all of you girls who don't want to miss out on life, don't think you can be a no good dirty swampet whore with a heart of gold and end up with Richard Gear in the movie Pretty Woman. It doesn't happen! 

Erin Esurance nude images

 Erin Esurance Pictures

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Stud Wrench   |74.162.160.xxx |2009-01-23 04:50:23
I'd defiantly break my dick off in her ass!
jhop   |74.162.160.xxx |2009-01-23 04:56:49
you're pretty sick. but there is something about that pink hair!
the clap   |74.162.160.xxx |2009-01-23 05:37:32
bitch gave me herpis simplex 9!
blue_starlights   |76.239.41.xxx |2009-01-23 09:52:58
I'm a chick and I'd do her!!!
Anonymous   |68.36.47.xxx |2009-07-02 09:13:46
Any chance of seeing an uncensored pic of her in front of the mirror?
Anonymous   |65.173.178.xxx |2009-10-18 12:43:21
Only registered users can write comments!

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