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| | | | Is Jessica Simpson Getting Fatter? | | First of all, I am a big fan of Jessica Simpson and all she has done for 8th grade boys all over the world. How Could I not be? A hot woman who is painstakingly gorgeous who cheats on her 98 degrees of loserdum husband with an average nobody? You can't beat that with a stick. Instead of marrying a girl like this just play with her fun bags and get off on the fact she is famous. But wait! What the hell happened to Jessica? She has exploded bigger than the waist band of McDonald's Grimace! Worst part of this is she doesn't realize it! She should be wearing a damn girdle or something to contain all her Simpsonite. Did she learn nothing from the Britney Spears incident? | | | | | | | Jessica Simpson's Loves Cup Cakes? | | Every time I see a fat chick I always think of Hostess cupcakes and I giggle. Those bad boys can make your saddle bags burst in the worst kind of ways. Poor Jessica has to wear not one but two belts to cover the fat roll of Simpsonite! For good early morning Kenneth Copland sakes, look at those damn jeans! My 3rd grade elementary school teacher wore pants like that. They are so dykey! She looks like a damn lunch lady right now serving up sloppy Joes! Well, I guess that would explain where she got all the extra food. | | | | | | | Jessica Simpson Humpty Dumpty Syndrome | | We have carefully illustrated Jessica's Spillage zones. She has early signs of Humpty Dumpty fat-itis or celebrity I don't realize I'm fat syndrome! When you have bacon strips hanging over the sides of not only your belt but your jeans, you are facing some serious spillage leaks. Jessica, its not like you don't have money, get a damn trainer to burn your ass calories from out of your damn spare tire belly. She offically has a Marsi in her front pants! Cut those bacon strips and serve them up southern style to all those poor people in Chihuahua Mexico! | | | | | | | Is Jessica Still Sexy? | Yes, of course she is still sexy. In the famous words of John McCain, "My friends", I am not saying I would not serial crush Jessica Simpson in her present condition. No, not at all. In actuality, this is the perfect time to get in those big and tall pants of hers. She still is Jessica Simpson and that is a turn on in itself. She could be 60 years old and guys would still smash it like it was last Thursdays garbage. However, since I have a no chance of ever way laying Jessica Simpson I must humiliate her for ignoring me in the Soho district in 2006 and her fattage gaining folly has finally given me my revenge!Perhaps during her weakened condition I could get her when she hits B list status like Britney Spears has.
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wooow i still think shes gergeous love u jess
