Spring Break Cruise Hook Up Method

Spring Break is a time where all guys from high school, college and those who don’t find jobs when they graduate can score with chicks looking for a good time and no regrets on a deep blue sea cruise. Why does a cruise offer this do you ask? Because a cruise is an open invitation to all guys to be able to bang beaver on that big blue watery road to leading to a string of Caribbean islands with no inhibitions stopping you or the chicks. Some things to consider when trying to hook up on the cruise is getting fit before the big show, know why Women go on cruises, knowing the chick locations, maintain a constant buzz, and always have safe Sex. What do you know we are going to go over all that just in case this will be your first Cruise Crushing experience!

 Meet Babes On Cruises

So you decided to go on a cruise with some of your guy friends for Spring Break for a little guaranteed hook up action. There are always more chicks than men on a cruise so don't worry about an over abundance of guys hitting on squirrel. More over, on a cruise all men are created equal regardless of race, status or religion. For the most part money isn’t an issue because you are on an expensive boat and had to pay to get there so girls will just assume you have some money or at least that your parents do. Either way you can approach all types of women with an equal chance of making contact without being cast aside like you would on land at a bar. This is where women go "slumming" and a Pity Fuck is still a fuck so go for it!

Girls are always fearing they will miss out on something in life and that's why they always break up with you in high school. A cruise is the perfect place for them to have a story and experience something out of their comfort zone. The average chick on a cruise will bang between 1 to 3 different guys depending on how easy she is to begin with. These girls are not even whores for the most part but rather looking for a chance to let it all hang out because they are on a mother effing boat bitch. Hard to believe, well just know there is no such thing as a whore on a cruise boat because they are all looking for the same thing you are. If you are in disbelief then you must take a cruise to experience this notion first hand. Remember, girls are looking for a good time and a story to bring back home meaning they are DTF!

If you are going to have a chance to get laid on the cruise you have to know where all the chick locations are in advance. I know you are on board with your boys and you want to have fun but you have to keep your eye open to where all the chick watering holes are. Girls are never in the duty free store so don’t waste your time in there buying Crown Royal or cigarettes. Buffets are also a place not to contain females of sexual desire so scratch that too. Where there is sun light there will be chicks and that is the king of the female grazing zones. So keep on the top deck during the day and focus on areas near the beach chairs, jacuzzi, pools and of course the bars. That’s where chicks will be during the leisure time of the day. At night keep an eye out for all the shows, the gambling rooms and wherever there is loud music. Last but not least, any where there is dancing chicks will be in pack numbers prime for you and your boys to cut in.

Maintaining a constant buzz is great source for liquid encouragement. If this is your first spring break cruise it will be a must in order to make First Substantial Contact in all female settings. Chances are y u have never been in a single environment containing scores of hot chicks with nothing to do but party. Remember, if you drink too much that means your Meat Shovel will be inadequate for the tasks that are at hand. Get a nice feel happy buzz which starts off with two shots and a mixed drink ever hour. This should provide you with the “I don’t care what your name is but I want your room number attitude” and this will be almost assholic which all chicks dig. If you haven’t noticed, chicks Love cocky guys with attitudes so keep a steady but responsible drink pattern going.
 
Now that you know the basics of finding a possible crush you will need to worry about safe sex for the big show. STDs are running rampant these days and unless you want your dick to look like a cheese pizza with everything on it, buy some quality condoms (Magnums... but don't pretend they make regular size Magnums too). For all of you guys who are paranoid androids when it comes to banging Strange Ass I recommend using the Shannen McKinnon method of safe sex. This is when you wear a condom and keep your boxers on so your beaslies don’t touch any wet membranes containing gerpis. In addition to, going down on a random spring break chick is strictly forbidden and if you can’t figure out why then you already have an STD that ain’t going away. Condoms are a must because a cruise is like Vegas; it stays on the boat unless you bring it back with you, so always use condoms when presented with the opportunity to serial crush strange ass.

Remember you are on a boat in the middle of the ocean. You are a stranger to the world of rational decisions and everyone on that boat, especially women, are out to have a good time. Give them a story they can take back home about how they banged a great guy in a most beautiful place with no strings attached. That is the whole reason girls go on cruises during Spring Break. As a guy, you must take all the initiative and if rejected then immediately find another girl to flirt with and continue your mission of sex and destroy Guy Code. Now that you know why chicks go on cruises, where the chicks are, importance of maintaining party buzz and always have safe sex, you will be ready for a week of pure sexual pandemonium! Remember, no one can stop you because you are on a mother fucking boat bitch.

 Getting Buff For The Cruise

Yes the stereotype of cruise going guys are rough buff and the stuff. Most of the time you will have advance notice of going on a cruise leaving you time to get huge at the gym. I recommend the olive oil diet or chicken and broccoli every night until you leave for the cruise. Hit the gym so you can have some muscular real estate to sell to those starving eyes of hot ass chicks. Go to the tanning bed 3 weeks before you go to the cruise just in case your dumb ass over does it and gets sun burn. This will give you ample time to recover and you will have a base tan.Other than that please read the steps to take to prepare for your Spring Break cruise below.

1. Gym It Up

 Seriously, get a gym membership at your closest YMCA. Get a wingman if possible that way you have someone to compete with and push you. If you lift by yourself then so be it but having a friend can help in getting stronger and thicker mass by using big weight by having a spotter. I recommend two solid months of working out 6 days a week to get totally Jacked and Tan before the cruise boat.

2. Eat Chicken and Broccoli

 If you want to poke through your skin and show off the definition you will have to alter your diet for that two month explosion before the cruise. I don't care how hard it is you eat nothing but chicken and broccoli. You will eat grilled chicken for breakfast lunch and dinner. You can take supplements and protein but do not eat anything other than chicken and broccoli. You will be bursting through your skin.

3. Run Like Forest Gump

 If you run 4 or 5 days a week 2 to 5 miles a day you will get a heads up and that six pack you always wanted. Remember, most guys do not have bodies chiseled by the hands of Michelangelo. Make use of jogging combined with your diet and weight lifting. Girls are superficial so you must accommodate it with a jacked body.

4. Get a Base Tan

You don't want to get on a cruise liner and blind everyone when you take you shirt off. You will want to get a base tan before doing that. Be sure to start tanning a month before hand just in case you get sun burned the first two times. Once you get a base tan put lotion on every time you get out of the shower. Yea, this is getting pretty metro but real men can use this knowledge to their advantage.

 Places To Meet Chicks On a Cruise Liner

Knowing the layout of the cruise liner can only help you when you are searching for the bikini bunny Snatch. During the day when the ship is traveling to whatever island its heading for and all the chicks will be on the top deck. The above chart are the appropriate areas to initiate first substantial contact at. Each number represents the specific function of the area and what goes on there so you will know how to approach the girls. 

1. Viking Crown Bar

Some cruise liners will have a top deck bar such as the one in the picture (Majesty of the Seas). This is a place where the more sophisticated chicks will be relaxing and observing from above. A lot of wine will be present in a top deck bar scene so make use of that advantage but also know it more of an intellectual environment but the sex is actually better than with a beer drinking chick.

2. Jacuzzi 

The jacuzzi is a hot spot for bikini wearing chicks. There are only so many jacuzzi on the open deck so they will be the most sought after as well as looked at. That's what these chicks want, to be looked at. So if you have mad skills with the ladies the jacuzzi girls are daring you to spit some game at them. In my experience if you can pull a jacuzzi chick she will be your constant ass for the duration of the cruise. I'm not sure what it is but usually you stay with bikini prize cruise girl. Doesn't matter, you will have a blast with strange ass.

3. The Deck Bar

The deck bar is probably the easiest place to make first substantial contact. Everyone will be passing by the bar and you can buy drinks for random bitches. I don't recommend buying drinks for girls unless you have real money though. However, the purpose of the deck bar is to scope out and find a nottie hottie little blondie for later that night. When you do see them again tell them you saw them earlier at the bar. Women love compliments and to feel flattered that you noticed them regardless if they were 10's or 7's.

4. Beach Chairs

The chairs on deck beside the pool is always crowded with hot chicks. this is your chance to show off that body that you worked out before you went on the cruise. If you don't have a body then you can open you wallet in front of them as you walk by flashing your donkey wad. This is where the girls look for potential suitors for that evenings festivities.

 5. The Upper Deck

All cruise liners have an upper deck where more lawn chairs are at. Lots of guys hang out here so they can see all the hot ass below them. It is the crows nest of stalking hot bitches. It's all good, just don't spend too much time there and make an effort to visit some of the other locations for ass. Nonetheless, the upper deck gives you an open view of what you have to work with and if need be to spot one of the sicker females if you need to serial crush a fattie.

6. The Pool

The pool is the place where look is for free and touching is only flirting! The water in the pool is actually ocean water so don't be an idiot and splash any in her face. However, you can play around on a very intimate level allowing you to grope, grab and throw a girl in the water. This is the place to test the waters so to speak. Flirting by touch is always allowed in the pool. Remember the boat is moving causing the water to flow around giving you a reason to bump into a girl to start a conversation. 

 Island Hopping

The whole point of a cruise is to go island hoping and show you the different scenes and traditions of those island. They always have to do with getting drunk and partying. Even more to the point, there is always more than one cruise liner docked to the island giving you a better rate of attrition of females to hit on. As mentioned before, these chicks are out to have a good time and get drunk. You only have about 6 to 8 hours before your boat leaves so you must make the best of you time. If the chick you are attempting to sex and destroy is not on your boat then you must make an effort to bang them somewhere on the island. This can be done and there are many places to do this. The easiest place to do it is the ocean. Seriously, no one knows you and that's the whole point of a cruise. Remember, throw in the cliche, "you don't want to miss out on a story of a life time do you?" to get the girl more willing to bang you on the drop of a hat. You have the most beautiful scenery in the world aiding you and a girl wants to have a story to tell her friends when she gets back. Make the most of their desire for an adventure and take all the initiative.

1. The Normandy Landing

When you get off your boat check the scene for hot chicks and rush forward ahead of the other guys trying to do the same thing. Making contact as soon as you land on the island is the most important step in establishing that beachhead of getting laid. You will have chicks from all types of cruises there and you must spot potential poonage in panic fashion.

2. Ear To The Conch Shell

Putting your ear to the conk she ll is like finding out where the largest groups of girls are headed. So you are listening for the sound of their waves so to speak. They maybe heading to the beach, to the bar or go on some tour. So listen for where the groups of hotties are headed and follow them.

3. The Banana Boat Ride

Most island stops in the Caribbean have a guy on the beach who sells banana boat rides. You and your guy friends hustle a group of girls to take a ride with you on the banana boat. You mix up the seating claiming a girl has to sit in between you are your friends so you won't be seen as gay. It works, no girl turns down the banana boat ride, especially if you're buying. Then use this opportunity to network assage for later on the cruise.

4. The Beach Luau Cook Out

If they are having a huge cook out on the beach this is a perfect time to generate first substantial contact. You can go up to random bitches and ask them what they are drinking, what they are eating where they are from, tell them you have cocaine if need be and so on. It a great time to mingle without it being weird. Use the cook out as a time to network and introduce your friends to theirs. It's recommended the hottest of your friends do this for first substantial contact to close escrow.

5. The Drunken Rescuer 

Be on the look out for falling out drunken chicks. They can be too much to handle for their female friends due to the lack of upper body strength that is absent in females and for good reason. You come in like a knight in shinning guy code and help out the drunken girl. Hopefully your kindness will be seen and the other girls will see you as a trust worthy guy with no ulterior motive. Yeah right, anyway, use the time to network and get to know the drunk bitches friends so you can meet backup on the cruise boat later for some Serial Crushing.

 The Snorkeling Excursion

When I went on cruises I always made it a point to sign up for a snorkeling excursion. Girls love to go snorkeling and I loved to follow them from a posterior view so to speak. You can find out what chicks have the best bodies by getting behind them and following them around under water. Having an under water view can grant you access to not getting Pinged for staring at chicks and you can maintain a tractor beam affect while following them around. No need to look for fish and coral you will be too busy at watching all the sea ass kicking in front of you. The whole snorkeling experience is perfect for screening the bodies of chicks for the big show later on that day. You find the girl with this best body or the body of the girl that you most likely could score with and you make your move the next time you run into her above water. The place I discovered this technique of sex and destroy snorkeling was when I went to Cancun back in 2003 in the underwater caves called Xibalba.

1. The Leopard Seal

The leopard seal is a vicious and rabid swim technique where you treat all women swimming like prey. You smash and dash to and from girls swimming to get a look at all the swimmers as fast as possible.

2. Pursuing The Red October

When you find a hot chick and are following her from behind you are pursuing the Red October. This is the unique girl that you have set your sites on and she has no idea she is being pursued. Basically you go on a silent run with your torpedoes loaded and are waiting for Jack Ryan (signal) to give you the go ahead to ping (start a conversation) this chick for first substantial contact.

3. The Manny Puig

If you are a daring or stupid son of a bitch you can show off by putting your self in danger to win the attention of a girl who is watching you swim next to a nursing shark or something of similar threat. The trick is to get the attention of a specific girl, flirt with danger and swim up to her afterward and ask her if she saw that.Hopefully she is impressed or thinks you're crazy enough to mention to her friends later.

 Picking Up Chicks At The Dinner Scene

Every night you have assigned dinner times and its a chance to dress up in your Friday nights to impress chicks. Always dress your best and have table etiquette because you don't know who could be watching. Another thing to take into account is that girls will be eating in large groups giving you a menu to pick from. If you don't like  whats on menu 1, maybe menu 2, 3, 4 or 5 will do. Occasionally try to make eye contact and smile when a girl cuts eyes with you. Establishing a presence in the dinning area is a great tradition and most men fail to do this because their male hunger takes over and they want to eat lobster and drink beer.
 

1. The Amateur Photographer

When walking through the dinning area always be on the look out for girls needing to have their pictures taken. It's actually better for you to volunteer to take a girls picture rather than them asking you to. If they ask you then you are a tool if you ask them its chivalry. It's just an ice breaker to get your face spread around to the interests of girls ready for the after dinner party.

2. The Wrong Waiter

Tables have assigned waiters to take care of the table for the duration of the visit. If you go up to a table of girls and pour them a glass of water acting like you're a waiter its the ultimate get your name out their technique. As you pour them a glass of water you ask what room they are staying in and stick around long enough for the real waiter to come over. When this happens you say, sorry ladies you were just too beautiful for me not to come over and pour your a drink, but I will see you later. Huge kiss ass points of flattery and you will definitely be talked about. 

 This Could Be You

By knowing your surroundings, wearing designer clothes, sun glasses and spending a little money this could be you during your Spring Break cruise. You are expected to bang between 1 to 3 chicks while on this duration playing the Numbers Game alone. Keep in mind this is not a day in the life of a land lover. Things move at a very fast pace on a boat and girls are more open to skipping second and third base. You are on a boat, chicks are on a boat and they are looking for an adventure of reckless experience to take back with them. Girls on cruises are trying to bang so you need to take them up on it. 

 Thanks to Lonely Island and T-Pain