How To Find The Lesbians Guarding Tom Brady

 If you are a true cocksman then you can often find yourself in uncharted waters in the sea of Serial Crushing.  Some call it being a Pilgrim in unholy land when you are willing to go anywhere at any time to any place in search of a hot slampiece. However, there are occasions where you cannot green light your target in a crowded room of chicks. You never know when a covey of bulldykes are guarding their Tom Brady. You could walking blindly into a defensive line and get an Elbow in the throat from a Harper’s Ferry looking lesbo and not even see it coming (which is how they like it).  In order to break though the defensive line, you must first  spot Tom Brady, observe the room of people, locate her defensive lines of bull dykes, lure them away and approach the golden goose without being blocked.

First of all, Tom Brady is the hot chick in the room that everyone looks at and desires. By everyone I mean, the straight chicks want to be her, the straight guys want to be with her and the bull dykes want to be with her but will settle for Cock Blocking all the guys who try to come near her. Why is this hot chick called Tom Brady you ask? Well, she is the female quarter back whose coveys of bulldykes are blocking for to protect her.  All you have to do to find her is basically let your penis tell you who the hottest chick in the bar, club or party is at. No biggie there.

When you first arrive at the party scene you never know what kind of regulars or what people in general are there. You must use your peripherals and check out the makeup of the Women involved at the lady smashing shindig. The easiest thing to do is to find the hot chick (Tom Brady) but there maybe be a few other second string quarter back chicks there but they too can have a strong defensive line. The mistake is made when you only search for the hot chick (quarter back) without investing five minutes of “recon” to observe your man barriers.  These man barriers are the vicious covey of bull dyke nasties who hate men for being able to achieve carnal knowledge with beautiful women in one night stand fashion.  So, the hate is there and you need to find them before they find you.

So once you’ve spotted Tom Brady, how do you deal with her defensive line? The solution is simple and involves little to no effort. If you possess very little knowledge of bull dyke lesbos then this is all you need to know. Bull dykes are sports nuts. Most women leagues 24 years of age and up are full of bull dykes who play recreational sports as though they were men. So, when you are about to make your approach to the slampiece known as Tom Brady, you take out a soft ball and roll it on the floor and yell, “GROUND BALL!” However, you must get everyone’s attention so not to miss any bull dykes who maybe in a huddle of their own. So once you get everyone’s attention, yell “ground ball” and roll the ball hard into the corner of the room and watch all the dykes dive for it. This is your chance to make your move!

While all the bull dykes are making a dive in left field you must go sack Tom Brady. You will probably only have a window of about 15 seconds while the dykes try to find home base to throw the ball to. You can buy yourself a little more time by yelling, “He’s running to third base!” This will probably give you an additional 12 seconds while the dykes form a diamond formation and then try to throw the ball to the third baseman.  If these are competitive bull dykes they may have some ego issues on who is playing what position so capitalize on the time wasted over the dykes deciding who the team captain is. Moreover, you may have additional time with the slampiece depending on the lack of organization while the dykes are trying to figure out who is playing what base or position, again, this will give you about 38 seconds. During your window of a combined 58 seconds you must approach your would be conquest and get her over to the bar and work your magic. In the end, you may have started a game of softball that will last all night and the bull dykes may forget about guarding Tom when they will be playing a hot game of softball with each other.