Amendment 1 - Freedom of Fornicating by means of Religion, Press, Expression
Their shall be no laws against fornicating with Women of different religious affiliation, or prohibiting the free exercise speech, or of the press as a means to get laid; or the right of the men to peaceably to assemble on Monday night football, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances suffered at the hands of bitter feminists.
Amendment 2 - Right to Bear Arms
In order to protect your property (women included) a man has the right to the security of a free State, the right to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. In other words, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT AS A MAN TO OWN GUNS.
Amendment 3 - Quartering of Mother in Laws
No Man shall, in time of peace shall be forced to provide housing for his mother in law, without the consent of the Husband, nor in time of divorce.
Amendment 4 - Search and Seizure
The right of Men to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures from insecure women or from women in legal socially promoted positions of authority.
Amendment 5 - Trial and Punishment
No unmarried Man shall be held to answer for social indiscretions having to do with the female Sex who are unmarried or engaged to be married. Unless a woman is married she is off limits to other men unless citizenship from another country takes priority over legal standing in which the crime of lust was committed. Men have the right not to testify against another man whom they share the bond of comradery, accountability or rationality.
Amendment 6 - Right to Speedy Hook Up, Confrontation of Waitresses
In all last call hook up attempts, guys shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public display of desperation, without the judging of other guys but not limited to Cock Blocking for the same efforts. You have the right to confront the waitress at any club, bar, or restaurant for sex without punishment of sexual harassment as long as this person is a stranger and one did not proposition her the week before or preceding weeks.
Amendment 7 - Trial by Man Peers in Civil Cock Blocking Cases
In Suits at common law, where the cock blocking controversy shall exceed twenty dollars spent on a girl whom the man in question was trying to lay, the right of trial by Man Peers shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law of the man who cost another money by cock blocking.
Amendment 8 - Cruel and Unusual Punishment
No man shall be forced to go on family vacations with his wives in laws not limited to excessive forms of entertainment having to do with opera, ballet or Shakespeare in the park, nor could excessive fines be imposed on men who offended women who were in fact physically unattractive whose sexual acts be considered to inflict cruel and unusual punishment.
Amendment 9 - Construction of Guy Code
Guy Code is an enumerated right to be interpreted in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people and by people we are referring to men and not women who look like men.
Amendment 10 - Powers of the Vagina
The carnal knowledge not delegated to the relationship status between man and women where a contact of property is spurious or has a lien upon it, does not prohibit men in which it obsesses, to reserve the right to pursuit at his own risk
Amendment 11 – Contract of Property Limits
The sexual act committed on foreign soil or committed by a foreigner on United States soil with a women who is the property of another man shall not be construed to extend to any law suit, commenced or prosecuted against one of the United States by Citizens of another State, or by Citizens or Subjects of any Foreign State.
Amendment 12 - Choosing the Smoking Gun
When finding a woman who is all the things that can be considered pure not limited to your own eyes and marriage is considered, you must bring forth this woman to be approved by your friends before marriage can be considered. If she passes majority approval then she must be met by members of your own family for the same result of majority approval.
In the event of a tie among your family members the Smoking Gun candidate will be decided by the number of men she previous slept with compared to that of the mother of the groom candidate. If the number of the smoking gun is lower then she wins approval by default. If the number of the mother is contested the groom candidate must ask his father and compare numbers in a close session of Guy Code.
Amendment 13 - Slavery Abolished
Women are granted permission to wear shoes and leave the home after consent of the women’s father to attend college, move out, etc. Women are given their own sovereignty regardless if their ability to understand or practice it conflicts with reality.
Amendment 14 – Guy Code Rights
1. All men born regardless of race, color, or creed shall have the right to practice Guy Code in the USA. At no point in time regardless of female social promotion will this right be denied by any federal law.
2. The Congress shall have no power to enforce or pass legislation contrary to women being a receptacle of male pleasure.
Amendment 15 - Race No Bar to Vote
1. The right of male citizens of the United States to fornicate gratuitously shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.
2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.
Amendment 16 - Status of Relationship Clarified
If a Contract of Property is not evident or the status of a relationship revealing other than married, a man can fornicate at will regardless of a mutual understanding or promise not backed up by marriage certificate. Alienation of Affection laws suits are null and void if a contract of property (marriage) is not present.
If the relationship status of marriage is hidden and one pursues and gets caught, ignorance of the undisclosed contract of property is not valid unless you are on foreign soil or vice versus. You will be held accountable and check for a clear title of property the next times you fornicate randomly.
Only males over the age of 18 can sign and be held responsible for contracts not limited to owning women or tangible property in general.
Amendment 17 - Fantasy Football Rules Set In Stone
1. Ten or 12 teams per league, 15 players per teams.
2. Every week you start a QB, two RBs, three WRs, one TE, one kicker, one defense and a 10th man from any position. For that 10th-man spot, only six times can you start a QB, RB or WR. So there's additional strategy involved: Not only do you need depth, but, since QBs always get the highest points, when you play the "second QB" card one week, you'd better need him.
3. Standard scoring: six points for rushing/receiving TDs; four points for passing TDs; three for FGs; one for PATs; six for defense/special teams TD; one for sacks/fumble recoveries/INTs; two for safeties; one for every 20 passing yards; one for every 10 rushing/receiving yards; 20 points for an arrest. However, there are wrinkles:
A) Five-point bonuses for 175 yards rushing/receiving and 350 yards passing. If somebody has a big day, that should be rewarded. Plus, it gives the "guy who loves to complain about everything, even if his team exploded for 200 points" a chance to complain when one of his players falls a yard shy of the bonus.
B) Shutouts count for 10 points, holding an opponent to seven or less counts for five and holding the other team to under 200 total yards counts as another five. Defenses don't matter enough in fantasy. In what other scenario is a tight end more important than all 11 guys on the opposing defense? I mean, except for Ben Coates in Madden '97?
C) Interceptions, fumbles and missed kicks count as minus-one; any pick returned for a TD counts as minus-six against your QB. We don't penalize for incompetence often enough. If you were so desperate you had to start Drew Bledsoe, then you should constantly be terrified of his trademark hanging floater toward the sideline that gets picked off by a cornerback running the other way. In other words, it should be like real life.
Amendment 18 – Lick her Abolished
You can no longer go down on women resulting in their pleasure at the expense of man losing his sexual peak of the moment.
Amendment 19 - Women's Suffrage
You can not stone women who are not your property or immediate property of family not limited to, another man marrying a woman of your family making her now his property and you do not have the authority to enforce punishment.
Amendment 20 – Binging Party Ending Terms
A single party can not last longer than one week in the same area without resting one full day. If a man does not recoup his strength he may miss out on ass that is free basing his party.
Amendment 21 - Amendment 18 Repealed
After one year from the ratification of this article the foreplay, thought of fore play, the practice of foreplay is completely abolished from being mandatory act preformed on women regardless of a contract of property.
Amendment 22 - Presidential Term Limits
No man shall be forced to a monogamous relationship against his will. If a contract of property exists, a man must get a divorce in order to preserve his assets from being seized by a bitter jealous wife.
Amendment 23 - Vote for Disdain of Party
You have the right to petition a vote to bail on a lame ass party regardless of zip code, borders, or language barriers.
Amendment 24 - Pole Dancing Unbarred
The right of women to dance or grind on any pole or anything resembling a pole anytime anywhere.