Joe the Plumber meet Joe the Douchebag
It’s funny how a girl’s brother hates it when his sister dates a complete tool let alone a douche bag. It is almost like she does it on purpose so she can get a reaction out of you. This again is just another display of how Women are really strangers to what they really want or what is actually good for them (caused by women’s suffrage 1920). However, the story takes a different twist when the guy she is dating looks like the Thunder God himself pounded his eyes so deep into his head his nose was pushed up causing it to resemble Mount Everest. I think we all remember Joe the Plummer, well the following shall convey who Joe the Douche bag is, as he pathologically facebook feeds your sweet but feeble minded sister bull shit smelling lies.
Joe the Douche bag is a guy who is not tall but not short and has nothing stimulating to offer a conversation let alone interesting career. However, most men can fall into this category and it be alright but Joe the Douche bag is the type of guy who buys a Ford 350 (a shitty automobile anyway) and drives 150 miles to work and thinks it cool. More over, Joe the Douchebag tries to be sophisticated in front of women by drinking wine but the poor dumb bastard is chewing gum as he does it. No, I am no making this up, like I said, high school wasn’t beneficial to this type of guy and he is in danger of Slinging DNA to repeat this process with little Joe Douchebags.
Another hang up that Joe the Douchebag suffers from is “where did my penis-go- itis.” Well, it most likely rotted off from all those fat Mexican prostitutes he Waylaid while in the service but in this case he probably just packs a cork top in his bottom trousers. He doesn’t count those as prostitutes because he only paid 5 dollars which didn’t even add up to the cost of a meal. Do I really need to go on with this guy? This is just a metaphor to explain why Joe the Douchebag is so insecure and controlling with whom ever he dates. He often tries to keep the girl at home and not let her have any personal endeavors because he realizes she will find something called Joe the Successful outside of his small bereft world of just beneath lower middle class.
“Can I sit next to my girlfriend?” Joe the Douche Bag is fond of following his girlfriend around everywhere and separating her from the rest of the real man herd by not letting her sit next to any other men. However, if you have to ask to sit next to your girlfriend you must be the most feminized, lack lustered, balls dropped off, pussy faggat that ever wasted gas in a Ford 350. Joe the Successful would have told, not asked and made it the fucking happen. This is why Joe the Douchebag fits his own name sake and forever will walk the Earth stalking facebook at all the failed relationships he’s ever had.
If your sister has a cell phone, chances are Joe The Douche Bag has what he calls “relationship rights to inspect”. This simply put means his small penis gives him the right to look at her cell phone numbers, text messages, myspace, facebook accounts and even her work emails. I’m sure many of you can relate to this kind of douchebauchery but to actually have it happen to you should be a giant Indian smoke cloud telling you to RUN! However, Joe the Douchebag causes a lot of drama and story telling so your sister will hang around for a bit just so she can have something to talk about and a big loser four popped collars deep will do the trick.
To all you nice guys out there, just know this, “every dog has his day and it always ends up being with the one you marry”. Now let’s explore that shall we. Basically, every girl makes a mistake in life, and they make it with someone with no accolades what’s so ever to speak of save I was in the military and had Sex with a prostitute or maybe 19. Sounds really awesome, much like everyone in India is in the same plight of shit and digging deeper. In the end, your sister grows up finds a real man to better appreciate who actually brings excitement, respect, stability and encouragement to her own ambitions to her life.
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