The Tool Academy started off with a great and real premise that a bunch of alpha males would be competing for the title and prize of winning Mr. Awesome. I would have suspected that a competition called Mr. Awesome would be sketchy but alas, I am fucking awesome so it wouldn't have been fair to share my inside knowledge with a bunch of tools. Nonetheless, these guys were signed up by their current girlfriends to compete in the Tool Academy in a desperate hope that the competition would fix their relationships. The following explains the fool hardy attempts of domesticated broken females to turn walking hard ons into their prince charming.
If you listen to the intereviews of what these girls go though on a daily basis with these guys you would wonder why Women even got the right to vote. These girls are classic 1950's slaves to the wishes and desires of their boyfriends yet they are not happy but they don't leave them either. The classic mistake a women makes is to attempt to change a guy who they began dating after a one night stand which featured gratuitous butt pleasure and a fire man hose to the face at the end of the night. It's all good though, he really respects you just like the 10 other guys that month who did the same thing. Where did they go? Good luck on that one and thanks guys for practicing Guy Code to its fullest.
I'm not dogging these guys by any means because they treat stupid women they way they deserve. More specifically, these guy's stupid girlfriends do not realize that self respect can not be legislated to them by feminists. The scary thought is that it is questionable any woman would seriously date guys who parade around like lottery winners and think they can actually be trusted with fidelity (means not having Sex with other chicks). The dirty secret is that these guys may treat their girlfriends like Worf's feces on Star Trek but these chicks never stray and always stand by their man. This is how it should be anyway and we need to take a page out of their book and practice a "little treat them like shit" so they don't get spoiled in life.
The Tool Academy serves as one of the first public explanations as to why girls stay with assholes. In case you do not have the time to watch it, I will explain in small words. Women want you to tell them what to do, where to do, how it is going to be, know what they are thinking (or tell them them what they are thinking like our government does to us), make everything alright, and make all the decisions. The truth is these freedoms we take for granted actually annoy most women who are not gay and those who pretend they are not gay. They want a man to take care of them much like a father would thanks to the genius of Sigmund Freud Electra theory. I do not care how many self respecting women argue otherwise, they like it when a man takes control outside of the sack and especially in it. It's our basic human instinct and it turns women on.
If you nice guys want a friend then buy a dog. The Tool Academy may be a bullshit reality TV show but it reveals the reality between men and women. These women claim to wish their boyfriends would be sweet and caring to their needs but the minute a man starts to be all the things a woman wants, the woman bounces. Why? Because a woman wants to be a with a real man and not some Sissy Mary holding hands as we sleep Clay Aiken. It's that simple and the Tool Academy guys are one form of masculinity but to me they are a bunch of New Jersey douche bags who think they are men. They need to have a reality TV show called JEREMIAH JOHNSON so all your metro sexual lotion lickers can get a taste of what a real man is.
Stupid Reality TV Bitches
Feast your eyes on these pathetic beauties. All of these girls below think a reality TV show can save their relationship much like some people think government can make everything better. During the interviews of their boyfriends, none of them gave two count chocolas about their girlfriends (and one even forgot her name). Hilarious. They were just interested in partying like a rock star and smacking as many asses they could before they retired their penises to the blue pill so they could do it all over again at an older age. Here's the thing, once the boyfriends realized they have been duped into thinking they were competing for being Mr. Awesome, they regained their composure and pretended to be good boyfriends to win the 100,000.00. The girls are literally stupid enough to think they are actually changing their boyfriends into being better men. I am serious, I truly believe these reality TV girlfriends think the way their boyfriends are acting is a sign of them wanting to change for the better. Yea, and Paris Hilton wipes her ass with Target brand toilet paper (I wouldn't mind watching that).
Vh1 Girls with No Self Esteem
Every scene in the Tool Academy is of these girls crying or whining about how they are unappreciated. After watching how these girls cry over the stupidest things it's no wonder their boyfriends don't give a shit. Honesty, these girls are only kept around when their boyfriends strike out on new pussy. They are the insurance policy to getting laid if they "crash and burn huh Mav" at the club. Yet these girls continue to clean, cook, nurture and take care of these guys but want to be recognized for it. My mother always said, do nice things because you want to, not because you expect something in return". The woman is a saint. I bet you a dollar to a Saigon blow job these girl's fathers were never around and that is why they are trying to find them by vacuum sucking any guy that comes along.
Relationship Therapist Trina Dolenz
This is the so called relationship therapist who will coach the couples into having better relationships. In all honesty, I would bang the fuck tard out of her based solely on what she was wearing that first night and her English accent. However, you can't tell me she didn't power fuck one of the boyfriends behind the scenes. Seriously, those guys are rough buff and the stuff and her wagon train obviously is in great need to be pulled by a Clydesdale fo sho. It's funny, we are suppose to take the therapist seriously when she gives advise to men who are competing for 100,000.00 to pretend to get along with a woman they can't stand? Ok, well, the therapist never once mentions that the girls need to dump their boyfriends. Why? because its a fucking reality TV show and the only reality that is actually true to the stupid girlfriends tears of being dumb.
Tool Academy Idiots
The best part about the Tool Academy was the attributes of being a bad guy that were credited before the show started. Pretty much everything that needed to be done to fix the relationship was already said but not by the therapist. For all you good girls watching at home, you can't change men who wear speedos who are not at the beach. Does that make sense? However, I know none of you will take that to heart so by all means, humiliate yourself by going out with me and the Tool Academy guys. Hey, at least the sex is good, for us any way, and that all that really matters.
