A Stripper Defined

Obviously seeing a stripper on a stage swinging on a pole is a dead give away but going over the basics could save you some time on discovery. By knowing the collection of characteristics of random girls you pass by you will be able to better detect whether or not they are a stripper. If you play your cards right you will be able to play them and actually go after the girls who are obviously whorish strippers.

1. The Come Here Bitch Bruised Arm

A lot of times strippers have bruises around their arms when their jealous and small penis having boyfriends grab them violently when they attempt to think for themselves. The bruises can also occur when she turns down money for sexual favors and the John gets pissed.

2. The Classic Blond Dyed Hair

The most popular hair color is blond and wreaks of vanilla. Strippers will either be beach blond or have severe blond streaks if they are naturally dark hair. The hair will always smell of stripper perfume.

3. The Fake Ass Tits With Rollover Top Cleavage

Lots of girls have fake tits but only strippers have them with rollover top cleavage. When it looks like there is a ball in the upper part of a chicks tit it means they are a stripper. For more info on this please read Ridiculous Boob Jobs.

4. The Mexican Abortion Scar

Strippers tend to travel around for work seasonally. When they do this they are always making hooker money on the side and in some cases get knocked up. When they do they are in states like California, Florida and Tijuana whose illegal alien population have crowded the planned parenthood clinics. So in order for a stripper to get an abortion quickly they go behind a Jiffy Lube pay 180.00 to a guy named Juarez who will perform a dirty abortion. These abortions leave a vertical scar because they have no medical training to speak of.

5. The Crystal Meth Flat Stomach

When a girl is in the profession of stripping she will get old and age quickly. In other cases they are there for life. So, in order to keep their body trim, especially their tummy, they will take crystal meth to burn off the fat with little effort or discipline of real exercise.

6. The Napkin Skirt

The napkin skirt is a small piece of clothe that barely covers the crotch of a stripper. Since strippers have no class, they wear this napkin skirt in public like it was regular clothing. So when you are out and about, look around for the napkin skirt on a chick and compare the previously mentioned features to see if she is a stripper. Halloween should be the only time a regular girl should wear a napkin skirt. Dressing up like a stripper for Halloween should speak volumes.

7. The Disgusting Fuck Marks

Bruises around the groin area of a female reveals it them to be nothing more than fuck marks. Fuck marks occur when girls who are strippers / hookers are run through the gauntlet of violent random hop in my truck Sex. They are man handled and thrown around like trash and this often leaves bruising.

8. Self Esteem

If a girl is always holding money in her hand every where she goes, then she is a stripper. Money is the only thing that gives a stripper confidence. A stage with a pole on it is like a Skinner Box and every time the stripper does something that pleases a man she is rewarded with money. This is the self esteem of a stripper.

9. Knee High Hooker Socks

Well, this doesn't necessarily mean she is a stripper, but those socks are hot. I dig them on chicks. So please wear them regardless if you are a stripper or not.

10. The Only Pole She Truly Enjoys

When girls climb on poles and start doing trick moves on them, they are strippers. They may have only gone for amateur night but they are strippers. They Love the pole because its the only thing that provides a catalyst for getting them attention. That's why guys go nuts when a girl straddles a pole and starts swinging upside down.

11. The Buckled High Heels

Mainly platform heels are the dead giveaway for a stripper. Strippers will also wear their platform heels in public too because they like the whorish look they give out when guys stare at them. They probably do not realize the guys are thinking, "God I would smack that ass like Ike did Whitney". It's not a compliment you dumb bitch. Oh well.